For My Dad, Al

As most of you know Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday!  It makes me sad that stores and people skip right over this wonderful holiday. Stop with the Christmas decorations, people, and enjoy your Thanksgiving Holiday for a hot minute. We get to eat, hang with friends and family, play games and just fill that cup up with all things gratitude.

This Thanksgiving Day it will be exactly five months since my dad passed away.  My dad didn’t want a funeral. After his death, we had to figure out unfinished business.  Unfortunately, due to differing opinions and unforeseen circumstances, this business took a lot longer than it should have.  For me, I feel like I wasn’t able to start my own grieving process for this wonderful man I call DAD!  So, I dedicate this Thanksgiving to my Dad, Al!

I want to share with my kids what an amazing “Papa” they had.  I hope the rest of you enjoy learning about a man that came from an era that is quickly leaving this earth.

My dad was born on January 25, 1926. His parents were German and settled in Indiana as farmers. He was the oldest of five kids. His parents didn’t express love, his father was an alcoholic and he abused my dad when he was young. Once his father stopped drinking later in life, my dad said he was a completely different person. I never met my grandparents but they did something right cause my dad was a great man. 

He was the Valedictorian of his high school class. He played both baseball and basketball. He went into the ROTC program in college, but still played baseball. One year, he was invited to participate in the Dodgers’ spring training camp, but he had to go to war. Out of all of his 9 kids, I was definitely his baseball/softball buddy.

He met my mom in Albuquerque, New Mexico. After the first date, he knew he wanted to marry her, so on the 2^nd date, he proposed. He told me that they prayed together about it and were married 6 weeks later. They were married for 54 years, until my mother passed almost 17 years ago.  I know they are back together, enjoying eternity with each other.

When my dad proposed, my mom said to my dad, “But I won’t ever be able to have children.”  My dad responded with, “if I don’t have children with you, I will never have children anyway.  We will adopt!”  Not too many people I know would do that.  Not only did they adopt, they adopted 9 children and tried to adopt 12 others. Our home was always full, a lot of times with friends who needed a place to stay.

My dad often told me or anyone who would listen that my mom found my siblings but he found and fought for me.  His cross-eyed, chubby, curly-haired, Polish baby girl.  I was defiantly a daddy’s girl. Not just because of this but because we had so much in common.  I was in awe of him and loved learning any lesson he had to teach me.  I constantly pestered him to take me to work, Dodger games, or coach my softball team.

My parents grew up during the Great Depression and didn’t have much.  So, when they had their own family they spoiled us a wee bit.  My dad worked harder than any person I have ever known.  I don’t think he ever slept more than 4 hours a night.  He worked as an L.A. Firefighter, while running his own successful business. He multi-tasked on steroids when multi-tasking wasn’t even a word. I think he may have invented it. Haha!

My parents were converts to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints before I was born.  My dad, no matter how busy he was, always made time to serve in church.  One of my dad’s friends once said, “Every ward needs an Al Miller!” (a ward is a congregation in our church). He was a faithful man and I appreciate the example of dedication, faith and Christ-like attributes he tried to emulate.

No matter the heartache, trials, pain or anything else he went through, he was joyful, kind and loving.  No matter how rotten I was as a teenager, no matter how many stupid things I did, I always knew he loved me.  When I was a young, single and scared pregnant woman, I went into my dad’s office, sat down and said, “Dad, I need to talk to you.”  I proceeded to start crying uncontrollably. I was hysterical and I am not quite sure how he could understand me.  I blurted out that I was pregnant. I knew I was at low point in my life and could barely take care of myself, let alone a baby. My dad was perfect.  He said calmly and with a smile on his face, “You need to send that baby nothing but good vibes. That baby feels everything you feel, so stop crying.” He gave me a hug, and told me to “go take a nap because your body needs energy for that baby.”  He told me not to worry, that he would tell my mom and he would take care of me and my baby no matter what. I could go on and on about what he did for me throughout my pregnancy but I will just say what he did in that moment was exactly what I needed and was a pivotal turning point in my life.

As you all can see from his pictures, my dad was mighty handsome!  He did a few commercials when his children were young.  He always looked younger than his age until the day he died.  He was uber smart and it fascinated me the way his brain worked.  He could outsell anyone on the planet. My Aunt Barbara told me recently that he sold enough trinkets at a fair in just a few days to put a down payment on a home.  He loved people and people loved him.  He worked out, took his vitamins and never ever got sick, even though he only slept about 4 hours a night and worked usually 16 hours a day.  I think I need a nap just writing about it.

He loved me like crazy, always told me so.  He taught me about numbers and finances when I was eight and never made me feel I was too young to learn the bookkeeping side of his business.  Probably boring to some but I loved it.  He loved playing cards and started playing with me around age 4.  We spent many nights just the two of us playing card games.  When I was pregnant with Chase my sister Brigitte, and my brother in law would come over nightly and the four of us would play games like Eucher and Hearts.  We continued this until just a few years before my dad passed.  This simple thing helped me through a scary time and always kept me calm.

My mom had such a strong bond with all her children.  She always made everyone feel extra special, including me.  My dad though was my idol.  He taught me so much and we shared a special bond.  I am a daddy’s girl and although he is not with me physically he is such a part of who I am that his presence is a constant.  I miss hearing his laugh, I miss hearing him say how much he loves me and how proud he is of me. I miss hearing him telling me how good it felt when I rubbed his neck the last couple years of his life.  I miss playing cards with him.  I really just miss him but I know that he is waiting for me with open arms with a big smile on his face constantly sending me good vibes!!