I got a PET! Just not that kind.

Art by: Brian Kershisnik titled "She Will Find What is Lost"

For those who are familiar with medical or cancer terminology, you know that the title of this post has less to do with cute animals and more to do with the status of my cancer and tumors. A PET scan stands for positron emission tomography, in case you were curious. The photo in the top left is what it looks like to have a scan done, which, for me, happens every few months and is the time I found out how effective my treatment has been in getting rid of my tumors. The news this week was mixed- which goes to show you never know what to expect during treatment. But first, a small update of events worth note in the last week!

• My friend of over 30 years, Lisa Berg, came to AZ for a visit! It was fabulous to catch up and rehash old times in CA together. We've seen and done a lot over our lifetimes and Lisa is someone I'm so glad to have kept in touch with. Friends are good for the soul. 

• My step-daughter McKenna came into town to visit with us and to help me start this blog! She interviewed me and worked on all the computer aspects of this project in between lunches, movies, reflexology and a general break from her full-time job as a mama to her two toddlers (with another baby on the way!) Scott got the chance to go out to dinner with her and her older brother Nate who happened to be in town for business at the same time she was here- which made his week!

• My son Gage turned 23! This kid works hard at everything he does and has been so helpful to Scott and I with project after project around our home. In the last year he's graduated and gotten married! He deserves everything good!!

Back to my PET scan. As an overview, the last time I had a PET scan a few months ago, all of my tumors had shrunk and my uptake had decreased. Uptake means the amount of energy that the tumors are using to grow. Less uptake = less growth. This time around we found out that the uptake in one of the tumors in my lung had increased, which isn't awesome news. It's not terrible either, but when you're pumping your body full of poisonous radiation you really hope the tumors get the picture and skedaddle. WHICH leads me to the good news- 2 of my tumors seem to be completely gone! Which brings us from 7 tumors to 5!! That is excellent news, plus a couple of the tumors (one near my spleen and one in the lung ) are showing signs of calcification- essentially hardening and dying. Although, just to confuse you a little, you should know that the tumor in my liver grew, while the tumor near my spleen shrank by 50%

Yeah. 

Sorry if that was confusing (I'm with you), but the mixture of this update is evidence of one solid truth about cancer- it doesn't follow rules. 

Cancer does not play fair, care about what you or the really smart people around you expect to happen, and likes to keep you on your puffy, chemo-filled toes. The most exhausting part of this whole process, apart from the chemo treatment itself, is the roller coaster effect of each new scan. Luckily the time in between my actual scan and hearing the results was occupied with family and visits- always a welcome and happy distraction. But most of the time it's hard to not feel anxious in the waiting. 

The waiting. I can tell you for sure that that's both Scott and I's least favorite part of the patient process. We're both action people, and being told to sit and hang tight is not our strong suit. 

But here we are, another scan down and there is certainly progress. That is the focus. 

My oncologist and I are believers that what goes on in the mind, your inner dialogue, is as important as that drip bag hanging next to me every other Monday. 

For now the plan is to make sure I'm getting 6-8 weeks of consecutive treatment, watching my soda intake and diet in general (while, you know, still enjoying life) and considering some specified radiation. I feel hesitant about that last one because lately it feels hard to ignore just how much radiation has been pumped into my body without feeling like it's, well.. a bad thing? 

But one thing that's always a good news to a cancer patient is having options. Options means doors being opened, and doors opening means that your body is strong and responding. Which are two of the very best things it can be doing. I've known people whose bodies eventually did the opposite. And it's never good news. 

I also wanted to say that I'm grateful for all of you who reached out to say such kind things after my last post. This is all hard but it's wonderful to be putting it all somewhere- and beyond wonderful to feel so much love from afar. Ironically, Scott and I were asked to speak in church on the subject at the top of the post "Be Not Troubled" which, of course, is an ongoing process for everyone in life. But I was glad for the chance to speak of hope in the face of adversity and the chance there is for happiness when things are hard. Because it really is there for all of us, no matter our health or circumstance. That picture above is something I feel every person, and especially woman, can relate to. The feeling of being lifted by those around her to a place of being whole again. 

How true and beautiful that is- for all of us!

xo Mandy